I was trying to contact and old friend who, despite being an amazingly kind and caring person, is terrifying and can (entirely unintentionally) make you feel about two feet tall if you interrupt her when she's busy and/or on a mission. Maybe I'm just a wuss.
Anyway, I was trying to call and wish her a belated happy birthday. I was rather apprehensive as I don't really like phone calls, and didn't really want to catch her at a bad time, so I had planned when to call quite carefully.
Not that it helped.
To start with, someone else answered the phone. They said she was busy and asked if I wanted her to call me back, which I didn't, basically because it would be inconvenient. So I asked if they knew when a good time to ring back would be.
They asked me to wait, which I did. Everything was going well until suddenly...
"Hello?"
Shit. She did NOT sound happy.
"Hello?"
"um...hi..."
Well, this conversation is going swimmingly, isn't it? I knew this would all end in tears.
"Yes, what was it that you wanted?"
Alright, so she's definitely busy.
"Nothing important, sorry."
And, there goes my resolve. And all my plans of a glorious catch-ups after not talking to her for several months. Gone. Did I mention this was the first time I had tried to contact her by phone?
"Oh, ok then, bye."
She sounds confused. This is good. If I'm lucky, she won't know it was me.
"Bye."
It's over. Please don't let her have recognised my voice. Please don't let her have recognised my voice.
I did not get to wish her a happy birthday. Oh well, that's just too bad, because I am NEVER GOING TO CALL ANYONE AGAIN. Particularly not her. Because if I do, she might recognise my voice. Which would be disastrous.
I shall now proceed to crawl into a hole and die of embarrassment as I mull over my failure at performing a simple task that most people succeed at on a daily basis.
I shall never touch a telephone again.
This was a week ago, and I still have no plans to call back. EVER.
Yours in failure,
Juno xoxox
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