I have a grown-up friend who refers to any boyfriend as "The Boy". Possibly because most of them don't stick around long enough to deserve names. Anyway, here is the tale of how I met The First Boy...
There have been three Boys, in case you were wondering; The First Boy, The Second Boy, The Third Boy. There is also a Current Boy, who shall be referred to as "The Boy". But not in this story because this story is about The First Boy. Are you sufficiently confused yet? Yes? Good, then we shall continue.
I will now, at the risk of exposing this should any of my friends ever stumble across this blog, tell you how I met The First Boy. This may be one of those stories that's only really funny when it happens, but my friends sure found it hilarious.
This was in September 2010, so I was only like 15. I don't know if that makes it better or worse.
Anyway, there was this book festival event being held in my hometown, and, somehow or another, my English teacher had convinced me to volunteer to dress up as a book character. Alright, so I didn't take THAT much convincing, but still.
My costume ended up being The Cat in the Hat, which I was thrilled about. A loose-fitting black and white jumpsuit, a tail, and a hat. I wore it around the school hostel for a couple of hours when I first got it, that was a laugh. "Juno, why are you wearing a cat costume?" "Why not?". Did I mention that I'm not normal and have little to no sense of shame when it comes to wearing whatever the hell I want?
Sorry if my writing sounds like a three year old on crack, it's just that I'm really tired so I had an energy drink and I'm not sure if it's working or not because I'm still tired but my hand are typing faster than I can think and my thoughts are all like "hey, do this, no this, DON'T DO THAT, DO THIS!" Although it's not like that's uncommon for me. But I digress. I do that a lot. You'll get used to it, I swear.
But the point is that I went to this event dressed as The Cat in the Hat. Now, I should mention here that I love small children. They're awesome and entertaining and just fantastic fun. I naturally gravitate towards the nearest child. And, contrary to what a lot of my friends seem to think, I'm actually really good with kids. This is important to the story. And possibly several other stories.
I was quite a big fan of one of the children's authors there, and had met her before, so I went to say a quick hello. In the process I discovered that she had two of her sons, one of whom was about my age, and her young daughter with her. As she was stuck doing autographs and other such author-y things, I offered to take her daughter to all the cool activities. Having just met me, she sent her eldest son, the one who was my age, to supervise his sister. And possibly me.
I REALLY SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED ENERGY DRINKS. I just spun around on my chair giggling at the ceiling for five minutes. And then I got told off by my desk buddy at class for playing with the hole punch. And I'm text bombing The Current Boy. Remember when I said he wouldn't be mentioned? Turns out I lied. Sorry about that. It was entirely unintentional.
What basically happened (I have to keep thinking of new ways to start my sentences, because I write how I talk and I usually start with "so" or "anyway") is that hilarity ensued. I drew a lot of pawprints on things, and climbed to the top of the playground like the terrible influence that I am because I WAS THE CAT IN THE MOTHERFLIPPING HAT. I've definitely had too much caffeine/sugar/crap.
Somewhere along the way, we exchanged names and vowed to look each other up on Facebook. There may have been some not-so-subtle flirting involved. I may have rested my head on his shoulder. I have a feeling I also may have said "So, I really like you," because that was what flirting really told someone and I didn't see why nobody would just come out and say it.
I guess this is actually a win, because we dated for like nine months and are still good friends. I even have his permission to write this. But I got teased mercilessly about it. Also, apparently, before we met normally (as in, with me dressed like a semi-functional member of society), his mother asked him if he even knew what I looked like (I had my face painted on the day), to which he admitted that he didn't. Which actually makes him pretty WINNING too.
Mini win: Afterwards, I went to visit a friend at the hospital (in costume. On a bike.), and saw a small child who was upset. Small child was sufficiently cheered up by a hug from The Cat in the Hat.
Before we finish, I would like to apologise for this post. I'm wondering if I should possibly be banned from the internet. Thoughts?
Love,
Juno.
xoxox cookies. Did I mention I have Oreos. Like in Wreck it Ralph. O-re-o, o-reee-o.
No comments:
Post a Comment